Today I have Heather from Buried in Books. Heather is here today to guest review and her book shall be none other than Dear Bully. Sit back and ENJOY!
Fairly powerful picture isn't
it? It's nothing compared to the stories inside. Yes, there are stories about
being bullied and those are familiar to us. But there are stories about bullying.
When you just kind of go with the group mentality and in that way you become a
bully. Or, there is a story about how you
felt powerful bullying someone, that you were better than her and
therefore someone. These authors don't pull any punches. They admit to being
bullies themselves as well as being bullied. The stories in this anthology are
completely honest and brave and compassionate even to the bullies.
There are way too many stories
to review but I'll pick a few out to highlight. These are two that stood out to
me for personal reasons, but there are so many great stories in the anthology.
Saundra Mitchell, author of “The Vespertine” and “The Springsweet”, grew up in
public housing just like all the kids she went to school with, wore the same kind
of clothes, had the same kind of food, only the kids picked on her. “Saundra
has lights” was written on chalkboards, desks, bathroom walls. Do you know what
that means? Sounds like she's special to me. But the kids were mean, breaking
her glasses, not wanting to sit by her, pinching her and always “Saundra has
lights” even whispered. In sixth grade,
Saundra found out what it meant. The stupid bullies couldn't even spell their
insult wrong. Lice. They were trying to say she had lice. And no one ever corrected
it. When she ran away from school because the kids were so mean she was told to
ignore them. And then sent to the principal to be paddled. Yes, back then
bullies built character in us. And the principals gave us paddlings, or swats
or whatever you'd like to call it. But they could hit us. And so could the
bullies. And that's what the verbal abuse turned into for Saundra. High school
was worse until finally at 14 she took an overdose-Lights Out she called it.
I know I'm telling the whole
story but there are plenty more to read. This one, this one is very timely
considering I've read about two young kids, under the age of 14 that committed
suicide this week because of bullying. Saundra survived because her brother
found her and called his mom. They fed her mustard until she threw up. THEY
NEVER TALKED ABOUT WHY SHE TOOK THE PILLS. That's a damn shame. But here is
what Saundra has to say now:
“But I'm talking about it now.
Twenty years after my attempt, I realize it's still happening everywhere, and
everywhere people keep wondering how this happens.
Here's the answer: learning
to fit in, learning to get along, ignoring it, and being the better person don't
work.
Asking victims to save
themselves doesn't work. People need to intervene. They need to give up on
disbelief, on stupid, gossamer lies-oh, it's not that bad, you'll survive,
high school is only four years.
They need to start listening.
They need to hear us say; It's that bad. Four years is too long.
It has to stop. Putting faith in the idea that it will make a
difference---we're all sharing our bullying stories. This one is mine.
I hope it'll be a light.”
I hope we're all more aware
than Saundra's an my parents were (I can't speak for anyone else's parents)
that ignoring, trying to fit it, those things don't work. And why should we
have to change who we are to get people to stop hitting us, torturing us. They
are in the wrong, not us. It has to stop. Speak up if it's happening, whether
to you, someone else or your child. We do care. This is us caring. Tell
somebody until you find someone who will listen.
On a lighter note was R.L.
Stine's story of how he dealt with his bullies. I read this one especially to
my child because he is unique and I want him to stay that way. He has a sense
of humor and well, you'll see for yourself how R.L. Stine uses that to his
advantage. R.L. Stine is the well known author of the Goosebumps series. The
title of his story is “The Funny Guy”.
It starts with him in
elementary school and he is the class clown.
He accidentally bumps into Pete, a kid twice his size and spills
macaroni on him. Instead of saying sorry, R.L. Stine says, “You gonna wear that
or eat it?” Pete puts a blob of macaroni
on Stine's forehead and Stine jokes “needs more cheese.” It doesn't go over
very well and now he's on Pete's radar with his two flunkies Ronnie and McKay.
They are waiting for him at the bus stop every day after school. They chase him
the two blocks home, then chase him and push him down, then chase him and punch
him and push him down. Finally there is the big showdown. They force R.L. Stine into a 'haunted house'
and tell him he has to stay there all night.
But, in a unique twist of fate, Stine starts
shrieking and he goes to the window shrieking that it hurts and for help and
the three bullies, previously in the yard can't run fast enough to get away.
After that, they leave him alone. R.L. Stine says he uses the feeling of panic
he had waiting to see if they were at the bus stop and the feeling in the house
and draws on that for his stories.
Can you feel it?
Oh there are so many great
stories in this book! About triumph, all are as everyone survived. About how
some used their experiences to write their novels, or pulled from their fears
to make sure they rose above it. Some vowed to never be a bully again or to be
bullied. But everyone realized they learned something from their experience and
I think you will too if you take the time to read it. I honestly didn't expect
it to be as interesting as it is. I highlighted and dogeared (I know) pages I
wanted to remember because bullying will probably always be going on. It's how
we handle it that has to change. Our kids should not have to “live with it.”
That is not a solution.
Okay so this was a rant and a
review. I recommend that you read Dear Bully so much! As I said, I didn't
expect to enjoy it as much as I did. The stories are short so you can read a
few and pick it up when you have time again. That's not what I did. I got
hooked and had to keep going. My heart cried out for the little kids in these
stories/letters. Sometimes I laughed though. Sometimes I was just pissed off.
It made me feel many things and you see bullying from many perspectives. I saw
myself in there and you might see yourself too.
To Buy Links:
Barnes and
Noble
Indiebound
Take care,
Heather
Buried in Books
It's awful to hear about the things that people have gone through, but also great that they have come out of it stronger. It's a shame to have gone through it at all though.
ReplyDeleteI love that the authors included stories about being a bully so that kids are aware of how easy it is to slip into that role even without intention but harder to recognize that what's being done is wrong and to stop themselves and their friends from continuing the bullying behavior. Great review!
ReplyDelete